So I wasn't on the bus for very long. Only two hours. I got dumped off in a squat little village in the mountains and deduced that it must be Qiaotou, the jump-off point for those looking to trek Tiger Leaping Gorge.
Now, since Adam and I parted ways, I had only been doing mild treks. However, upon reading how utterly jaw-dropping and mandatory this trek was, I decided to pull out the old North Faces for maybe one last go. The whole gorge is about 28 kilometers long, 2 kilometers wide and, get ready for this, an astounding 4 kilometers from the Yangtze River below to the peaks of the Haba Shan mountains above. And because it's a gorge, most of that 4 kilometers is sheer cliff. Ever come face to face with anything that goes 4 kilometers straight up? I was about to.
I didn't intend to start the trek that day. I was ill-prepared. No food, no water, no backpack even. And I wasn't gonna lug the big bad boy with me. So I settled at a place called Jane's which perhaps had the worst service of any guesthouse I'd encountered thus far. Let's put the ills of this place in list form:
- The employees were lazy, curt, unwelcoming and completely incompetent.
- The could not grasp the concept of me leaving my passport with them rather than in my dorm room. When they did take it, they just stuffed it in a drawer beside the TV.
- They occupied the TV and computer that was reserved for guests and refused to relinquish control when asked.
- One employee fought with her drunk, shirtless boyfriend while guests were trying to get her attention to order food.
So really, the biggest problem was the crap staff. What a lousy place! They already had my passport and my money so there was no changing. At least the dorm room was empty.
So I set out about the town to do some shopping. I needed the previously mentioned items plus a towel (forgotten in Lijiang) and of course, a new alarm clock. There's no way my body would wake up for a 7am hike unassisted. Everything but the clock was relatively easy to find. All the shops were mom and pop knickknack joints so it was just a matter of stumbling upon one that had what I was looking for. I had a good pantomime for clock that was understood by all. I passed up big, clunky, plastic dealies decorated with Hello Kitty and Doraemon before finding a classic windup. With the shopping done, I killed hours.
At about 6pm, the French couple that probably stole my alarm clock rolled into the guesthouse. They didn't chose the dorm thankfully. Probably cause I was in it and they needed to use their new alarm clock.
7am I awoke. Did the place have hot water? Of course not, so a screaming shower it was. None of the staff was awake, which was annoying because I needed to store my big backpack and retrieve my passport. Like, you'd think if you were running a guesthouse for hikers, you ought to be up at the ass-crack of dawn with everyone else. I screamed "hello" about nine times, each time successively louder , until one of the employees frumped out with a look like I had committed upon her a grave injustice. Lazy witch. I hated that I had to return to this glower shack the next day, even for a moment, to get my stuff before moving on. It was past 8, so I left without ordering breakfast.
And so I began the hike. It actually took a good hour of navigating hillside farms and ascending dirt roads before reaching the official entrance to the gorge. About 100 meters down, I could see where the river that flowed through town met with the Yangtze and continued onwards through the gorge. There were two roads; the low road, which was paved and ran through the gorge alongside the Yangtze, and the high road, which was anywhere from 100 to 500 meters up the side of the cliff and provided a much more satisfying experience. I chose high of course. the low road was undergoing construction anyways to make it more tourist-friendly. Glad I got there when I did.
At first the views were merely excellent. The path was literally a brief, flat divot chiseled out of the steep steep mountainside. It was cloudy, but had it been sunny, I would have just cooked like a Christmas goose, so thank goodness for the clouds. Mist rose and swirled quickly about everywhere, obscuring the tops of mountains leaving me only to guess the extent of their majesty. The river was audible below and would occasionally let out a thunderous boom. Dynamite from the construction I deduced.
I was moving briskly, stopping only to take photos. It was cool weather, but I removed my jacket occasionally. Dark clouds above were threatening with rain.
The first tea-house rest stop I encountered was so nice, I wished I could've stayed the night. It was about two hours in. Naxi Guesthouse. The sign outside advertised "home-goored meals" which is probably the most interesting typo I've encountered in China thus far. I finally got to eat the breakfast that those sows back at Jane's were to lazy to make me. Off again.
The next 3 hour stretch was hell. Called the 23 bends, the trail zigzagged steeply up the mountain for an hour, making damn sure I was aware of the punishment that I signed up for. And remember that this all took place at over 2000 meters above sea level, so the lack of oxygen certainly compounded things. It was horrible. Going up and never stopping, zigzagging, making no progress along the gorge. At the top I splayed out on a rock and wheezed.
From there, it was a slow descent, but the mist began to clear up revealing the full height of the mountains. They were much higher than I predicted, and the wall completely filled my peripheral vision. Completely unreal.
The next tea house was also quite nice. They had soju on the menu which I found puzzling. I continued along passing through hillside villages that seemed to be untouched by time. Horsemen walked along the trails with their surprisingly nimble horses. And you can bet that there were plenty of goats grazing. Tons and tons of goats, perfectly complementing the surroundings.
At around 2, I hit the Halfway Lodge (actually about three quarters of the way in) and decided to stay there for the night. I could've completed the gorge, but by then, my dogs were barking, plus it seemed to be a nice looking place. I got a dorm and it was empty, but I knew it wouldn't stay that way. I immediately flopped down for a nap.
When I awoke, the thieving French couple were checking in. Ugh. Of all the people to constantly be encountering. They gave me an uneasy hello. I produced my new alarm clock.
The view from the guesthouse could not have been better. Right on the edge of the hill facing the giant wall. Even the bathrooms provided splendid panoramas while you peed. I went up to the "inspiration deck" for dinner and more people trickled in. Among them were Patrick and Jessica from back in Kunming. We spent the evening talking and swapping stories. Two other Irishmen joined in later and between them and Patrick, I'll be damned if I understood anything being said. Called it at around 11:30. Had to do the same hike in reverse the next day.
At about 3am I awoke with a stomach crisis. This had me running to the bathroom every 20 minutes for about three hours, being sick as all hell. Don't know what caused it. Food poisoning? Who knows. My medicine was back at Jane's so I had to ride it out with nothing but water. The dorm was full of slumberers too, and you can bet that the door was as loud and creaky as they come. Bad night. Didn't sleep again until around 6.
I awoke at 10, weak, tired and dehydrated. It was going to be a very bad hike. The sun peeked out too to add a bit of extra, albeit unwelcome, challenge. Oh god, hold breakfast down and maybe it won't be so bad, I thought. It was. My legs were taffy and the ascents were nearly crippling. The tea houses seemed so far apart and I took breaks almost every ten minutes. Held it together though, despite the pain and suffering, and kept moving on.
I reached the exit, which was good, but I still had an hour more until I got to Jane's. My feet, knees and legs were screaming. Lactic acid formed. My altitude-affected breaths came in gasps. Every bend I rounded was never the last. Past filthy construction sites, not even great scenery anymore. My body pleaded "NO MORE!". Finally I plopped down on the doorstep of Jane's.
I can count on one hand the other times in my life I have ever been that exhausted. I could not move. Then, all of a sudden, everything I held back during the hike, the nausea, the dizziness, all came rushing back and I gunned it for the bathroom. Filthy bathroom too. I stayed there for an hour doubled over in anguish, moaning with puke sweats rolling down my face. I clutched my stomach. It was 5:30 and the bus I intended to catch, the last one of the day, arrived at 7. This sense of urgency collided with my corporal state and added new layers of stress. Oh my god, make it stop, I thought. I did not want to spend another night with Jane's gang of misanthropes.
Soon my sickness subsided enough for me to leave the bathroom. It was 6:00. I couldn't make it. My stomach would not tolerate winding mountain roads, so I surrendered and grabbed a bunk for the night. I dozed off expectedly.
Then something magical happened. I awoke at 6:45 imbued with energy. I hadn't paid for the dorm yet, so I decided to try for that 7:00 bus. Sure I slept in the bed, but Jane's could kiss my ass at that point, so I bolted out, crossed the river and waited on the side of the road. Soon enough a bus stopped and picked me up. 7:00 bound for Shangri-La. I had made it. Three hours to get there and my stomach was doing fine. Happy ending after all.
Now, since Adam and I parted ways, I had only been doing mild treks. However, upon reading how utterly jaw-dropping and mandatory this trek was, I decided to pull out the old North Faces for maybe one last go. The whole gorge is about 28 kilometers long, 2 kilometers wide and, get ready for this, an astounding 4 kilometers from the Yangtze River below to the peaks of the Haba Shan mountains above. And because it's a gorge, most of that 4 kilometers is sheer cliff. Ever come face to face with anything that goes 4 kilometers straight up? I was about to.
I didn't intend to start the trek that day. I was ill-prepared. No food, no water, no backpack even. And I wasn't gonna lug the big bad boy with me. So I settled at a place called Jane's which perhaps had the worst service of any guesthouse I'd encountered thus far. Let's put the ills of this place in list form:
- The employees were lazy, curt, unwelcoming and completely incompetent.
- The could not grasp the concept of me leaving my passport with them rather than in my dorm room. When they did take it, they just stuffed it in a drawer beside the TV.
- They occupied the TV and computer that was reserved for guests and refused to relinquish control when asked.
- One employee fought with her drunk, shirtless boyfriend while guests were trying to get her attention to order food.
So really, the biggest problem was the crap staff. What a lousy place! They already had my passport and my money so there was no changing. At least the dorm room was empty.
So I set out about the town to do some shopping. I needed the previously mentioned items plus a towel (forgotten in Lijiang) and of course, a new alarm clock. There's no way my body would wake up for a 7am hike unassisted. Everything but the clock was relatively easy to find. All the shops were mom and pop knickknack joints so it was just a matter of stumbling upon one that had what I was looking for. I had a good pantomime for clock that was understood by all. I passed up big, clunky, plastic dealies decorated with Hello Kitty and Doraemon before finding a classic windup. With the shopping done, I killed hours.
At about 6pm, the French couple that probably stole my alarm clock rolled into the guesthouse. They didn't chose the dorm thankfully. Probably cause I was in it and they needed to use their new alarm clock.
7am I awoke. Did the place have hot water? Of course not, so a screaming shower it was. None of the staff was awake, which was annoying because I needed to store my big backpack and retrieve my passport. Like, you'd think if you were running a guesthouse for hikers, you ought to be up at the ass-crack of dawn with everyone else. I screamed "hello" about nine times, each time successively louder , until one of the employees frumped out with a look like I had committed upon her a grave injustice. Lazy witch. I hated that I had to return to this glower shack the next day, even for a moment, to get my stuff before moving on. It was past 8, so I left without ordering breakfast.
And so I began the hike. It actually took a good hour of navigating hillside farms and ascending dirt roads before reaching the official entrance to the gorge. About 100 meters down, I could see where the river that flowed through town met with the Yangtze and continued onwards through the gorge. There were two roads; the low road, which was paved and ran through the gorge alongside the Yangtze, and the high road, which was anywhere from 100 to 500 meters up the side of the cliff and provided a much more satisfying experience. I chose high of course. the low road was undergoing construction anyways to make it more tourist-friendly. Glad I got there when I did.
At first the views were merely excellent. The path was literally a brief, flat divot chiseled out of the steep steep mountainside. It was cloudy, but had it been sunny, I would have just cooked like a Christmas goose, so thank goodness for the clouds. Mist rose and swirled quickly about everywhere, obscuring the tops of mountains leaving me only to guess the extent of their majesty. The river was audible below and would occasionally let out a thunderous boom. Dynamite from the construction I deduced.
I was moving briskly, stopping only to take photos. It was cool weather, but I removed my jacket occasionally. Dark clouds above were threatening with rain.
The first tea-house rest stop I encountered was so nice, I wished I could've stayed the night. It was about two hours in. Naxi Guesthouse. The sign outside advertised "home-goored meals" which is probably the most interesting typo I've encountered in China thus far. I finally got to eat the breakfast that those sows back at Jane's were to lazy to make me. Off again.
The next 3 hour stretch was hell. Called the 23 bends, the trail zigzagged steeply up the mountain for an hour, making damn sure I was aware of the punishment that I signed up for. And remember that this all took place at over 2000 meters above sea level, so the lack of oxygen certainly compounded things. It was horrible. Going up and never stopping, zigzagging, making no progress along the gorge. At the top I splayed out on a rock and wheezed.
From there, it was a slow descent, but the mist began to clear up revealing the full height of the mountains. They were much higher than I predicted, and the wall completely filled my peripheral vision. Completely unreal.
The next tea house was also quite nice. They had soju on the menu which I found puzzling. I continued along passing through hillside villages that seemed to be untouched by time. Horsemen walked along the trails with their surprisingly nimble horses. And you can bet that there were plenty of goats grazing. Tons and tons of goats, perfectly complementing the surroundings.
At around 2, I hit the Halfway Lodge (actually about three quarters of the way in) and decided to stay there for the night. I could've completed the gorge, but by then, my dogs were barking, plus it seemed to be a nice looking place. I got a dorm and it was empty, but I knew it wouldn't stay that way. I immediately flopped down for a nap.
When I awoke, the thieving French couple were checking in. Ugh. Of all the people to constantly be encountering. They gave me an uneasy hello. I produced my new alarm clock.
The view from the guesthouse could not have been better. Right on the edge of the hill facing the giant wall. Even the bathrooms provided splendid panoramas while you peed. I went up to the "inspiration deck" for dinner and more people trickled in. Among them were Patrick and Jessica from back in Kunming. We spent the evening talking and swapping stories. Two other Irishmen joined in later and between them and Patrick, I'll be damned if I understood anything being said. Called it at around 11:30. Had to do the same hike in reverse the next day.
At about 3am I awoke with a stomach crisis. This had me running to the bathroom every 20 minutes for about three hours, being sick as all hell. Don't know what caused it. Food poisoning? Who knows. My medicine was back at Jane's so I had to ride it out with nothing but water. The dorm was full of slumberers too, and you can bet that the door was as loud and creaky as they come. Bad night. Didn't sleep again until around 6.
I awoke at 10, weak, tired and dehydrated. It was going to be a very bad hike. The sun peeked out too to add a bit of extra, albeit unwelcome, challenge. Oh god, hold breakfast down and maybe it won't be so bad, I thought. It was. My legs were taffy and the ascents were nearly crippling. The tea houses seemed so far apart and I took breaks almost every ten minutes. Held it together though, despite the pain and suffering, and kept moving on.
I reached the exit, which was good, but I still had an hour more until I got to Jane's. My feet, knees and legs were screaming. Lactic acid formed. My altitude-affected breaths came in gasps. Every bend I rounded was never the last. Past filthy construction sites, not even great scenery anymore. My body pleaded "NO MORE!". Finally I plopped down on the doorstep of Jane's.
I can count on one hand the other times in my life I have ever been that exhausted. I could not move. Then, all of a sudden, everything I held back during the hike, the nausea, the dizziness, all came rushing back and I gunned it for the bathroom. Filthy bathroom too. I stayed there for an hour doubled over in anguish, moaning with puke sweats rolling down my face. I clutched my stomach. It was 5:30 and the bus I intended to catch, the last one of the day, arrived at 7. This sense of urgency collided with my corporal state and added new layers of stress. Oh my god, make it stop, I thought. I did not want to spend another night with Jane's gang of misanthropes.
Soon my sickness subsided enough for me to leave the bathroom. It was 6:00. I couldn't make it. My stomach would not tolerate winding mountain roads, so I surrendered and grabbed a bunk for the night. I dozed off expectedly.
Then something magical happened. I awoke at 6:45 imbued with energy. I hadn't paid for the dorm yet, so I decided to try for that 7:00 bus. Sure I slept in the bed, but Jane's could kiss my ass at that point, so I bolted out, crossed the river and waited on the side of the road. Soon enough a bus stopped and picked me up. 7:00 bound for Shangri-La. I had made it. Three hours to get there and my stomach was doing fine. Happy ending after all.
These guys only knew one word of English: "Horse?"
The little labourers' town of Qiaotou, gateway to the gorge.
I definitely needed a home-goored meal.
Mountain goats roamed the hillsides. They were pretty cautious.
Every square inch of trail had an amazing view of the gorge.
Jon Leaping Gorge aka perhaps the most epic jump shot of the whole trip.
When the mist surrounding the mountaintops cleared, I realized that they were twice as tall as I expected.Here's a video I took in an attempt to convey the majesty of TLG.
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